Mom's new boyfriend decides to spend time with David... by bringing him to work. And it sucks. Mom gets worked into a lather with every compliment and David gets out of town to hang out with a kid named Ham.

David's mom has to entertain his creepy aunt, his nanny has been hiding her boy in the house, and he was supposed to be a girl. We're off to a strong start in the first chapter.

Like any Christmas miracle, I wrap up something I slowly learn to hate just in time for the holidays.

This book will never end. I thought that it would be a 'fun' and 'quick read'. But nope. Frank Baum has written an epic about Santa Claus that I'm sure entire schools are dedicated to studying the greater meaning of.

Claus starts a war between immortals and doesn't even notice because he's too busy thinking about... other people's kids. Then he uses the reindeer's kink against them to break into people's homes and watch them sleep.

Like a trust-fund kid, Claus sets out on his own but his mom takes care of everything for him- even down to making his dinner every night. That leaves a lot of time for him to sit around thinking of... the kids...

Where this author makes up a fake origin story for a real man that died in 1942 during a bombing over France. It's highly offensive, especially since it prominently involves 'grabbing' a 'girdle' for some reason.

There is a cat giving away his satanic nature by walking around on it's hind legs, killing with pleasure and threatening everyone around him and NO ONE seems to care.